I come from typical orthodox, traditional Hindu family. My dad was a very conventional man who used to have control over my life and had set standards for my entire family. He had tremendous reverence for his insightful thoughts and social work he was in. I remember a day before the first day of my college when we sat and discussed how my college life is going to be and what I am supposed to do in those college years. Everything was set.
In that “To-do list” first and foremost condition was: I will never think of anything other than studies and will never fall in love or even think about anybody, no matter who is the person. I shall never ask for love marriage as if it was a sin! I was not even allowed to utter a word “Boyfriend” as if it was like eating beef in the Hindu Brahmin family! Certainly as an obedient daughter, extremely stubborn though, I was never against my dad’s opinion about My Life. Ironically, in my college days, I used to have lots of friends who were boys, and all of them as per my dad’s wish shall be like my brothers. 🙂
Later after my graduation, my dad put two choices in front of me. One was either to get married or to start preparation for Civil Service Exam, UPSC (Union Public Service Commission), which, if I passed in high rank, will make me a powerful bureaucrat. He was not interested in knowing my choices or dreams. As a successful engineering candidate whose market value was very high as an employee, he did not want me to work or go after my dreams of working in the Hi-tech industry, or an ‘American Dream’, which was against his one of the “Conventional professions for women”!
It is like taking conventional methods of car decoration that have been used by others for years as a means of granting others permission to approach them.
Nevertheless, with a great amount of patience, I accepted his offer of preparing for the Civil Service Exam instead of getting married. However, soon I realized that this is not my “Cup of Tea”. Still, I continued with the hope that one day I will convince my dad about my dream of working in the engineering field. And the day arrived, after 1.5 years of my graduation and poorly attempting UPSC, I firmly told him that I want to go to Pune to start my career.
He could not stop thinking about leaving me alone, in the entirely new and big city! We had a great deal of disagreement and was lasts for a month or two. One morning, he came up with another offer of a lectureship in engineering college. By this time I was furious and was completely on the verge of leaving my home and city forever. That was my first step towards “Crossing The Barriers”.
You can’t live your life for other people always you have got to do what makes you happy and feel right for yourself.
I left home, with very little money in my pocket, Thanks to my mom and neighbours, who believed in my potential and allowed me to go chase after my dreams. My dad came to drop me though, to the doorstep of my first rented room in Pune and made sure that I was living in a safe area and with safe people.
My new life, in the new city, began after crossing all barriers of my Dad’s stereotypical beliefs. I started my career in one of the medium-scale engineering industries which was in the design and development of a CNC manufacturing company.
This was a male-dominated industry where I had to prove myself as a competent woman employee who would be able to work on CNC machines with fellow male colleagues. I did it successfully for 3 years. Since then I started working in various such industries where women empowerment was just another topic of discussion; well, this perhaps has knowingly/unknowingly strengthen my ability to work and think beyond certain barriers.
In this journey, I got an opportunity to work in another automotive industry in which I have been given a chance to work onsite at UK office in London, for one of the crucial assignments. The journey of reaching one of the most glamorous cities in the world, wasn’t easy enough, crossing all male-dominated, egocentric mass and breaking the overstretched image of a woman.
I am grateful to God who has bestowed me with the strength and never gives-up attitude. All these years I have learned that we especially being a woman, should never view our challenges as disadvantages. Experiencing and overcoming adversity can become one of our greatest strengths. Instead of focusing on hurdles if we focus on refining them and jump up over the walls of barriers, we can meet the milestones.
Passion, the energy that feels the power that comes from focusing on what ignites you to cross the fence, is a key. Everyone has it, identify and work on it. Today, I am a mother of 10 years daughter, pursued Master in Australia all alone, came back home and successfully leading my career in IT.
Don’t hold back yourself, don’t be intimidated by hackneyed social, cultural, or emotional hindrances; embrace them, cultivate them as your strength, overcome all your fears, otherwise :
world is happily ready to confine you by the walls build on their beliefs. You have to choose on which side of the wall you want to be.